Little by little: the battle against depression

Hey lovelies!

Today's post is a little heavy, but also necessary. I woke up to the news that Robin Williams had died of an 'apparent suicide.' According to BBC news, he had been battling depression for a while. I remember when I heard the news that one of my cousins had committed suicide, he'd told my aunt that he didn't see the point of life. I remember thinking the same...

Life can be such a rollercoaster at times, where you feel like you're bit quite sure where it's going. The twist and turns of events that you by surprise, and you catch your breath. How you react in that moment will determine how and if you get out ok. Like the rollercoaster example, you have to know that it's not forever, even when you can't see the end. 

Yes, I hear you saying that's it's not that easy, I see you shaking your head and telling me that I don't understand. But I do, I really do. I get it. I hear you. I FEEL you. I remember sitting in the doctors office, about to be prescribed sleeping tablets, and really feeling as though I couldn't make it through another day. But I did, and you can too. 

It's not about pretending that everything is fine, it's about realising that everything is not fine, working out what's going wrong (or even not knowing what's going wrong), and deciding to feel better anyway.

It really is mind over matter. Depression starts in your mind, hopelessness begins in your heart, and if you're not careful it will creep on you and strangle the life out of you. 

What am I thinking about this situation? 

Can I do anything about it? 

Am I doing all I can to get out? 

You may feel powerless to change your current circumstance. 

You may feel that there is no hope for things to get better. 

But, you can start with this..."today will be better. I can do this." 

Self-talk, is pretty much how I get through my days. I even have words in my diary, on my wall, in the Notes app on my iPhone...all to remind me of who I am. 

Some days are harder than others, some days I just cry, some days are awesome. Let yourself have those days, it's ok. 

For me, I've realised that I need to let me internal reality dictate my external reality. That outside forces cannot determine whether or not I'm happy. 

Success cannot determine my happiness, I need to be content in every situation.
Whether I get that job or not, whether he loves me or not, whether my album sells well or not, whether I get that contract or not....I will be content. 

I am in control. 

I am in control of my own happiness. 

It's up to me how I feel today. 

I am powerful. 

Depression....to some is a dirty word. You may not feel like you can really say what's going on because you do not want pity. I encourage you to find someone you can talk to about how you're feeling, and what you're going through. 

Today, I decided that I'm going to be ok and so will you. Tell yourself, everyday if you have to, I do.  

Love, 

Rach x 

Choosing to be happy!

 Ps: feel free to email me if you have any questions or just need to talk; rachel@rachelyvonne.com