Little by little: the battle against depression

Hey lovelies!

Today's post is a little heavy, but also necessary. I woke up to the news that Robin Williams had died of an 'apparent suicide.' According to BBC news, he had been battling depression for a while. I remember when I heard the news that one of my cousins had committed suicide, he'd told my aunt that he didn't see the point of life. I remember thinking the same...

Life can be such a rollercoaster at times, where you feel like you're bit quite sure where it's going. The twist and turns of events that you by surprise, and you catch your breath. How you react in that moment will determine how and if you get out ok. Like the rollercoaster example, you have to know that it's not forever, even when you can't see the end. 

Yes, I hear you saying that's it's not that easy, I see you shaking your head and telling me that I don't understand. But I do, I really do. I get it. I hear you. I FEEL you. I remember sitting in the doctors office, about to be prescribed sleeping tablets, and really feeling as though I couldn't make it through another day. But I did, and you can too. 

It's not about pretending that everything is fine, it's about realising that everything is not fine, working out what's going wrong (or even not knowing what's going wrong), and deciding to feel better anyway.

It really is mind over matter. Depression starts in your mind, hopelessness begins in your heart, and if you're not careful it will creep on you and strangle the life out of you. 

What am I thinking about this situation? 

Can I do anything about it? 

Am I doing all I can to get out? 

You may feel powerless to change your current circumstance. 

You may feel that there is no hope for things to get better. 

But, you can start with this..."today will be better. I can do this." 

Self-talk, is pretty much how I get through my days. I even have words in my diary, on my wall, in the Notes app on my iPhone...all to remind me of who I am. 

Some days are harder than others, some days I just cry, some days are awesome. Let yourself have those days, it's ok. 

For me, I've realised that I need to let me internal reality dictate my external reality. That outside forces cannot determine whether or not I'm happy. 

Success cannot determine my happiness, I need to be content in every situation.
Whether I get that job or not, whether he loves me or not, whether my album sells well or not, whether I get that contract or not....I will be content. 

I am in control. 

I am in control of my own happiness. 

It's up to me how I feel today. 

I am powerful. 

Depression....to some is a dirty word. You may not feel like you can really say what's going on because you do not want pity. I encourage you to find someone you can talk to about how you're feeling, and what you're going through. 

Today, I decided that I'm going to be ok and so will you. Tell yourself, everyday if you have to, I do.  

Love, 

Rach x 

Choosing to be happy!

 Ps: feel free to email me if you have any questions or just need to talk; rachel@rachelyvonne.com

Life Hack: We are a family, like a giant tree branching towards the sky!

Hello lovelies!

Since so many of you comment about how close my family is, I thought I would write a post on things we do to stay connected. It's not easy, and it does take work, but the rewards are astonishing. 

Photo by Jendella

I've lived away in my own place a couple of times, and I've lived in America twice. It was probably, during those times that I realised that I had to work at maintaining a connection with my family. I did this by using social media including Skype, FaceTime, iMessage, whatsapp, and even letters. 

1. You have to choose to stay in connection. 

I currently live with my parents, brother, and (soon-coming) foster siblings, and we all lead individually hectic lives, but we choose to hang out with each other. It's a daily decision. 

2. Use whatever you have to stay connected. 

We text all day, I set up a "McIntosh Household" whatsapp group when I moved to California so that I could keep in touch with everyone at once. I also started a whatsapp group for my mum's side of the family, "The Wilson's" where we keep each other entertained on a daily basis, as well as make plans to meet up, or share information. 

3. Don't take them for granted. 

It's so easy to just expect your relationship with your family to grow just because you're related, but it actually doesn't work like that. Little things like going to B&Q with my parents are ways that I spend a few minutes with them on a busy day. Birthdays are a big deal in my house, so we'll probably have some sort of event, we always decorate the house and there will be cake! 

4. Make an effort, even when it feels like a thankless task. 

My mum and her 3 sisters; Janet, Jennifer and Angela

The Wilson's are a big family, my mum has 4 brothers, 2 sisters, and 1 deceased. My aunts and uncles, and mum have (approx lol) 20 children, and the next generation is currently at 6 (I think). This number grows every year, and not to mention everyone's partner, plus the children we all foster (currently at 6) ....so we're currently at around 50 for any kind of family gathering. It's hard to get us all organised as we range from new born to early 50's, and I do get frustrated. But I've realised that it's worth the hassle to keep the family together, even when it seems like the minority actually care. Persevere!

Mum's brothers; Michael, Lloyd, Anthony and Raymond

5. Don't worry if your family is different. 

My dad also has 3 sisters, and 3 brothers, his parents live here, and most of their family do.  However, we're not as close to them and there isn't really a reason. Meet people where they are, and also know who you're dealing with. Deep and often connection isn't something the McIntosh's need and that isn't a negative thing, it's just different. They're a much quieter, reserved family and their family dynamic is different from the Wilson's. Life goes much smoother when you work out the personalities, temperaments and dispositions of the people you love. I love how different each side of my family is. 

6. What works for one family may not work for yours. 

So as I've said, we talk often, and for you texting your mum all day might not feel natural and that's fine! But when was the last time you saw her? If your schedules don't quite match, then try and set up a monthly meeting. If that's too much, what about a call every 6 weeks? You can build the connection as slowly or as fast as you like. For us, it's unusual to not have had at least 3 conversations in a day, and that's all before 3pm! I recently started a new job, and we're all adjusting to the fact that I really can't check my phone as often as I'd like ;) 

On Friday night, my parents were teaching in South London, and my brother was playing keyboards there too. I was really tired from a busy day, but made to effort to travel from Essex to see them. I was late but I'm glad I got the opportunity to support their work.

Love you all,

Rach xx

The McIntosh's: Caleb, Yvonne, Nathanael and Rachel-Yvonne

Barcelona in July

Hey guys!

I spent the weekend in Barcelona a few weeks ago, with lovely girlfriends of mine.
Our agenda for the weekend was to get some sun, sea, relaxation and bit of partying. In the end we didn't do any partying LOL. We lazed about for 2 and a half days, talked about boys, life plans, and chilled out.

I've had a rough year so far, and when I was invited, I jumped at the opportunity to get away.

Sometimes all you need is a change of scenery...

Love you,

Rachie xx

Just few of my faves...July 2014

Gosh, I'm spoiling you guys with two posts in one week!

I looooooove musicals, and 'The Sound of Music' is obvs one of the best ones ever, you can't go wrong with Julie Andrews. So just hum, ' these are few of my favourite things..' while you read this post :)

John Frieda Go Blonder Shampoo and Conditioner

1. John Frieda Go Blonder Shampoo and Conditioner

I bought these travel sizes just to test, and I love using them! My hair smells gorgeous and feels light after using, they're also gradually lightening my hair, which is pretty great. I can definitely recommend this. 

Busy B Vitamins

2.Busy B Vitamins
I always need a bit of a boost during the day, so these really help with keeping my energy levels up. They're from Holland & Barrett, which is currently having a 'buy one item, get another for a penny' sale so go on and grab them! They have tons of Vit B plus Folic Acid, Vit C and Biotin, check the nutritional information below.

Busy B Vitamins - info

3. Birkenstocks

These are the only sandals I wear, I have flat feet and most sandals are way to flat for me and hurt my feet. Weird, I know. My feet actually feel better in heels. I've had these for about 5 years, and I love them. I will be wearing them until the fall apart. 

4. Toni & Guy Volume Plumping Whip

 I got this as apart of the Glamour Beauty Edit Box, and I've only used it once, but my hair feels great so far. 

It's non greasy and definitely gives my hair some va va voom. I shall update you on it, the more I use it. 

5. Hawaiian Tropic Sun Protection

This was also apart of the Glamour Beauty Edit Box, and I LOVE IT! It's so hard to find an SPF this high that doesn't make me look like I just rubbed myself in a pile of chalk. This lovely, goes on smoothly, smells delicious and has gold sparkles that glisten in the sunshine. It stayed on even after a dip in the ocean. I highly recommend this, oh and it's Factor 30. 

6. Glamour UK

This is my absolute favourite magazine, and I recently got a subscription which makes the mag much cheaper and it comes earlier than it arrives on the shop shelf. It's a win-win all round! It's just the best, I can't praise it enough, just go get it! :)

Birkenstocks

Toni & Guy Volume Plumping Whip

Hawaiian Tropic Sun Protection

Glamour uk mag

So that ends my roundup, hope you like these things. What are you current favourites?

Don't forget to follow me on Instagram: rachelyvonne
Love you,
Rachie xx